When you board an airplane, do you carry the heaviest bags with you? No. You check them and pick them up again at the destination. I heard this analogy from a leader in our business over the weekend, and it resonated with me. What she was saying was so powerful for my situation especially. I am going to expand on that here. What she was talking about was people.
When you make the decision to start a business, one of the most painful things you find is that people are often not what you expected them to be. Most people will not be shouting from the rooftops about your leap! Most people will not be very happy for you to be honest. In fact, a lot of people will be downright nasty and unsupportive of your vision. This is not from any inherent badness in them, actually a lot of the skepticism comes from a place of genuine care. Most Americans are raised to follow one specific path in life. Go to school, get a good job, work for 40 years - retire. So, when you go to dinner at your typical middle class table, and tell your parents, "I want to be an entrepreneur." You are almost always going to be met with some negativity, doubt, and even laughter at your vision. That can feel like a kick in the pants to someone who has just decided to start betting on themselves. It can even be devastating. We're taught to care about what others think of us, but we must be careful to only care about what the right people think of us. People who are going where we are going are the ones to listen to, not the ones who stay stagnant. -- A nugget from another leader!
What I have found is that most people can be categorized in one of three ways.
The Carry-On
The carry-on people are the ones who will follow you. They will support your dreams no matter what. These people may have their own entrepreneurial spirit, or they may just love to see others grow. These people may become clients or customers, just because they believe in you. Or, they may just be your biggest cheerleaders, always happy to see your success and growth. A lot of these people will be other entrepreneurs who will help you along the way to achieve your vision. Some of these people will even be silent supporters, who never buy but refer their friends and neighbors to you. These people are GOLD. Remember that these people are there for you no matter what. Friends like these are ones that you must cling to when things get difficult, because they want to see what you are capable of genuinely, and they are not afraid to tell you when you're messing up!
The Checked Baggage
These people are ones you have to be especially careful of. They will still be there when you get to where you are going, but they will not be there along the way. Often, these are the ones who will ridicule you when you first begin your journey, but sing praises when you achieve your dreams. These people may even have their hands out once you have achieved a certain level of success. It is a difficult thing to deal with checking some people because they are often ones who care, or cared deeply about you. Or the old you. They may be close family and friends. It will appear that they seem to have little if any faith in you, or what you are doing. Until you do it. This type of person can be a very motivating force in the life of a budding entrepreneur. The best thing you can ever do is prove them wrong. It will empower you to keep going, and help you develop a thick skin. Knowing when you have encountered one of these people is extremely beneficial as you push past your own doubts and fears.
Dead Weight
It is unfortunate, but you will find that there are some people who are simply not going where you are going. They are people who were in your life for a season, and will not be with you in the future. People like this have no room in your future life, your vision does not allow it. Often they are stagnant. They are the ones who will the most violently oppose whatever you've gotten yourself into, no matter what you say to them they will not listen. These people may feel threatened by your growth, and they can have a profound negative effect on how you view yourself, your goals, and your dreams. To protect yourself, these people should be identified and avoided at all costs. There is no room for so much negativity when you are stepping outside of your comfort zone. It may be tempting to check these people, but you cannot. You'll know if they are dead weight if their position never changes, if they are constantly a negative influence on you, your well-being, and your business.
Personally, the pain that these realizations has brought me is immeasurable. I had to find out very quickly that some people who I expected to support me, were not going to. One of the things that leaders in our business say over and over is that, "you can't say the right thing to the wrong person, and you can't say the wrong thing to the right person." This holds true in business and personal relationships. Someone who is bound to be a client or join you, will. And someone who won't, will never be. It hurt deeply when some of the people closest to me had to be put in certain categories because of their behavior. But, I am growing and changing. It is up to me to achieve my vision. As entrepreneurs, we have to be careful about what others say, and how it changes our perception. We need to be proactive in guarding ourselves against negativity, but we also have to have listening ears for those who have as much or even more vision than we do!
Who are you listening to? The dead weight, or the pioneers?
Comments