When I was 19 years old, I could have died. In the United States, in 2012. From complications of childbirth.
These days, we often take for granted the fact that the utmost medical care is available in most developed countries. Now, I know that many people reading this will automatically start thinking about the myriad of problems in our healthcare system. And although those problems do exist, they are not what I am here to discuss. Millions of people have inadequate, or no health insurance coverage in America, which makes the possibility of death from treatable conditions all that much more likely. It's very sad, frankly. My heart goes out to every person who has to decide between paying a medical bill, and buying groceries truly. However, inability to pay aside, my reason for writing this piece is deeper than that. The reason I am writing this is to discuss something even more uncomfortable. That thing is, the fragility of human life.
On May 4th, 2012, my husband and I were attending a party. I was 37 weeks pregnant with our daughter. It had thus far been a very healthy pregnancy. I was 19, strong and felt overall pretty good. That day, I did not feel well. I couldn't describe my symptoms if you asked me to, but something was off and I wanted to rest. Despite this, my husband convinced me to accompany him to see a childhood friend off before she moved out of state. As the night wore on, I felt increasingly more uncomfortable. I was moody, I was exhausted, and I just did not feel right. As often happens with Braxton-Hicks (practice) contractions common during pregnancy, I mistook these very normal processes for real labor pains. This was my first pregnancy, after all. So, we left the party en route to the hospital. A lot of things happened in the next few hours, but I am only going to touch on what is relevant here.
When I arrived at the hospital, the doctors confirmed that I was not in fact, going to have a baby then. However, they did find some concerning things with my vitals and bloodwork. My blood pressure was very high, and my liver enzymes were more than double the normal range. Fearing a condition known as preeclampsia, which can be fatal, the doctors ordered me to collect 24 hours worth of urine and return to the hospital the next evening. So, we went back to the hospital, bag of pee in tow. The finding then, was that my liver enzyme numbers were worse. So, I was admitted.
Over the next couple of days, my blood pressure stabilized, but my liver enzymes continued to go up. This suggested an issue with my GI system, and not Preeclampsia. A team of doctors from OBGYN and Gastrointestinal specialists was formed to take on my case. Several different reasons why were proposed, but there was no concrete answer to why a perfectly healthy young woman was doing so poorly. Myself and my daughter were constantly monitored throughout, and she was 100% fine. I however, continued to worry the doctors. Finally, there was a suggestion that they pregnancy was possibly taxing my liver beyond it's capabilities. The GI specialist suggested inducing labor and seeing if I would get better after delivery. The OBGYN did not want to do that though, because I was not quite considered full-term. After another day or so, an MRI was ordered.
If you have never had an MRI, it is not something that I recommend when you are nine months pregnant. It involves being pushed on your back into a giant machine that uses powerful magnets to take images of the inside of the body. It is noisy, uncomfortable, and smells odd. During the procedure, you can hear a technician over an intercom giving you directions. "Hold your breath..." God, that was hard with another person pushing on my lungs from the inside! But, we made it through and the GI specialist finally had the answers needed to come up with something! Turns out, my gallbladder was FULL of stones. The pain I had been experiencing, was likely a gallbladder attack which happens when a stone blocks a bile duct. For those of you not familiar, the gallbladder is a small organ attached to the liver, it helps the liver with digesting fatty foods. The final decision made was to induce labor, and pray that my condition would improve.
So, on May 9th, 2012, they started the induction process. I was given a few different drugs to force my body to give birth. My body was not ready. My mind definitely was not ready. My labor was slow and difficult. I had then, a very low tolerance for pain and almost no understanding of what was really happening to me. Some of the choices I made, undoubtedly prolonged things, but we all survived. Thirty hours later, my daughter was born; two weeks to the day before her due date.
Her delivery was fairly normal until it was time for the placenta to come out. When it did, it detached improperly. This caused my uterus to start bleeding way more than is normal. Because of that, I'm told I lost a lot of blood. To my knowledge, it is unknown why that happened, but without a quick shot of a clotting medication, I would have had 1 of 2 different possibilities. The first, would have been bleeding to death. The second, would have been an immediate emergency hysterectomy. Both of those possibilities is unattractive to a 19 year-old. Luckily, neither of those things happened. The medication that was offered saved me, but my ordeal was not over. I spent the next two days being watched over furiously to see if my gallbladder situation would improve. Luckily it did. I left the hospital, with my baby, my gallbladder, and my uterus in tact.
My health has always been good. So, this crazy event was a fluke for sure. But, it made me realize that people who have no good reason to, can die. For the craziest reasons - Even here in the first word. I was thinking about this, and talking over the events of that week with my husband last night. I realized then, that had things have gone differently or if I had been born in a different time, I would be dead. My husband would be a widower, my daughter would be motherless, and my son would never have been born. Interestingly, I thought about my absolute immaturity at that time. We never even discussed what we would do if something happened to one of us. I had no life insurance then. We didn't have a home of our own, and we didn't have any fully made plans for our future.
I did some math, and now that I have life insurance, I wondered how long my current policy would have taken care of the two of them. I thought about it, and if I had died then, with the current life insurance that I have, he would have been able to purchase a home for the two of them. My husband would have been able to provide for all of her needs for at least 3 years on top of that. Or, he would have had plenty of money to put her through college and bury me. He could have even taken some of that money and invested it. It suddenly hit me that had I died, things would have been devastating in so many ways including financially for my family.
People never know what is going to happen and when it will happen. I want to urge you who may be reading this, to think strongly about what you are doing. Are you living a lifestyle that is healthy? Are you being kind every time you speak? What will be your last words with your loved ones? Are you spiritually where you need to be? And of course, do you have things set up financially for your family in your absence?
I'd love to connect with you! Send me an email at reclaimingmyselfblog@gmail.com or contact me through this website on our connect page!
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